People (men in particular) often joke about how they wouldn’t date a woman without a father because they have so many issues. Let’s look at this from the other side. I will no longer date a man without a mother figure in his life. Why? A man with mommy issues is one of the hardest men to deal with! Beware of the man with mommy issues. Who is that man you ask? A man with a mommy that:
- Wasn’t involved in his life or performed poorly at being a mother.
- Was an abuser of some substance or thing whether it was drugs, alcohol or sex
- Hurt his dad in some way and it led to a divorce or ending of his parent’s relationship.
This sums it up for the most part, but dating a man with mommy issues comes with a lot of baggage. Here are five signs that your man has mommy issues.
- He don’t believe you need more people! If you constantly have to prove something to him there’s obviously trust issues there. Everything you say or do must be verified by another source whether it be another person or even documentation. When I tell a man my celibacy story it’s always a pain (not telling the story, but the disbelief that comes with it.) A guy with mommy issues often lacks trust in his mom because she’s lied to him so much in the past. As a result, his trust or faith in women has diminished to almost nothing. Bottom line: He doesn’t trust women!
- Why are you treating me like this? Men with mommy issues (for the most part) treat all women the same! You could have done nothing to hurt him, but from the start you are placed in a category with all the other women in his life. From the women that treat him like a King, to the women that hurt him, and even the woman that raised him we are all treated the same way. Why? It is his way of protecting himself from being hurt. He learned first hand from his absentee mom how a woman treats a man. Unfortunately, he believes that all women will do him just like mommy did. As the woman dating a man like this you will feel like the treatment is subpar compared to what you are accustomed to. For example, I dated a guy that felt the need to “test” me in everything. He felt like I needed to prove to him that I was worthy of being showered with gifts and flowers. So he would ‘test’ me to see how I would react to things. The tests…well, I won’t go there, but needless to say it didn’t last! Why do I have to prove to you that I’m worthy of a gift or flowers? If I am worthy enough to be called your woman/girlfriend shouldn’t that be enough?
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Men with mommy issues lack respect for women. Most times you will have to earn his respect through your experiences together or even your accomplishments. A man like this will respect you more if you can prove that you have more to offer than the typical woman. It’s a daunting task though, so if he has mommy issues I don’t even bother. Keep in mind if he doesn’t respect you then he doesn’t value your opinion or thoughts. He doesn’t really care to hear your point of view on anything because he believes you don’t know what you’re talking about. Instead, he knows all!
- He’s hard to please. Which means: 1. Nothing you do is ever enough. 2. No one woman will have everything he wants. 3. You will always need to do things better.
- You’re missing something. Since one woman won’t have everything he wants, there will always be more than one woman in his life. He has a woman that he uses for sex, for food, for companionship, for mental stimulation, for love, etc. Men like this are habitual cheaters. You could be the best girlfriend on Earth to one man, but to him something is always missing! He is never happy with just one woman. He doesn’t know how to identify with the fact that one person will NOT have everything you want. This stems from always going to other women to help him when mommy wasn’t there. In his childhood he probably has an Aunt, schoolteacher, stepmother, and a friends mom that he sought for fulfillment of his motherly needs.
I could go on, but I’ll save some for another time. Do not hesitate to share your thoughts in the comments section below. I’d love to hear from you 🙂